C'mon Inner Peace… I Don't Have All Damn Day
This writing gig sure does have a certain pattern to it. I guess this is what they call the “creative process”?
Before starting this blog, I wrote when I felt somewhat inspired or had enough wine to get creative on a random Tuesday evening while watching re-runs of Finding Bigfoot.
Needless to say, it was not disciplined in the least.
I wrote a lot before my son was born, but that all ended when I became a mommy. Evenings were dedicated to trying to fall asleep early so that lil’ Jr. could wake up happily at 5 am ready to play.
Which he did until he was almost 4 years old, UGH.
For me, the process to write one simple blog post starts more then two weeks prior.
I get an idea and make a note of it; there are about 1,000 notes or ideas floating around the iPhone notepad. If that phone gets lost, we may as well just shut down this page.
I will have flashes of things I have to say at the most inopportune times like right before sleep, while in the shower, or on the tilt-a-whirl at a carnival.
Seriously, I’ve got scribbles all over my room, in my pockets, the bottom of my purse, stuck to my kids forehead… everywhere.
I have learned my lesson though, if I DO NOT write it down at that very second, it’s gone forever.
Quite often I find myself jumping out of bed, only to trip on some random pieces of Lego blocks, while searching in the dark for my desk.
Thanks TiTi Belly… Lego’s… rad gift.
Once the task of jotting down my unbelievably brilliant idea has been completed, I feel satisfied the thought will be retained and not lost forever into the big garbage basket in the sky.
Only then, can I continue on with my beautiful operatic shower serenade, go back to dreaming about Johnny Depp, or enjoying my sons nauseating carnival rides.
During the light of day I write a bunch of paragraphs that would only make sense to me… and possibly some Native American code talkers.
Then I walk away from it for DAYS, the mere thought of it makes me cringe.
After a brief retirement period, I begin to see the article with new eyes. I can finally edit the crap out of it until I am ready to hesitantly push “publish”.
Clicking on that button is exactly like the millisecond where you decide to push yourself down a ridiculously steep water-slide into the abyss.
You absolutely know the next few seconds will be filled with torture but somehow you convince yourself that it was FUN, and do it again.
By this time, I can’t stand looking at the piece.
Just like a man on a booty call, the orgasm is over and I need to make a quick escape out the window.
The creative energy is all used up and I don’t want to even think about the post again until a few months later. I’ll re-read it and cut out those paragraphs that mortify me the most.
“Did I REALLY publish that?” I think to myself as I hang my head with embarrassment.
Sounds fun doesn’t it? Nausea, cringing, battle-scars from a midnight Lego-war.
I love it!
There is no way to avoid the creative process once you start listening to it. It’s annoying and beautiful all at the same time.
Just find that thing that makes “time fly”, then start noticing the process that helps you create.
What I have learned is… if you cultivate it, it grows, like a muscle.
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We scribble our hearts and brains,may be our writings can scribble yours!