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Gori and the Sikh: Our Story
Every single day when I check my stats, I am blown away at the sheer amount of women searching for answers about their Indian boyfriends culture, family or devotion.
I too used to search for these same things before Manpreet and I were engaged to be married. After our visa denial, I discovered a group of women who are all in a similar situation. We started a “support group” of ladies who navigate the questions regarding our uncommon love story of East meeting West; so I understand your confusion and desperation… believe me.
Gori and the Sikh was created as a project for my university. I had no intentions of keeping up with the blog; it was mainly used for a grade, when something weird happened… people liked it.
I had been scared of backlash from the “Cultural Appropriation Police,” and did not want to promote the page in any way. I feared that I was offending the Sikh community by writing about my experiences, but instead I found I was welcomed warmly, with a similar sarcasm and sense of humor.
So, welcome to Gori and the Sikh. I’m the Gori girl… a somewhat-not-really-derogatory name for a “white girl” in India.
I am married to a wonderful Sikh man from New Delhi, India. If you don’t know, Sikh guys wear a turban (though he does not); we are an unlikley couple to say the least.
What I have learned is that, Indian relationships with an “outsider” are incredibly confusing, and it seems the entire world is looking for answers on how to cope.
There are many questions about arranged marriages, in-laws, cultural differences, the immigration process, and even horrific things such as honor killings.
I was once THAT GIRL as well, but have recently been awarded a masters degree from the “University of Hard Knocks” in “Inter-Cultural Relationships with an Indian Man.”
Thousands of people were signing up to my original blog; oddly most were from India, Nepal and Thailand. Like an excited voyeur; I would go through each of their FaceBook pages to peek into their lives… believe me, I saw some pretty crazy things out there in the “real world” outside of our American bubble.
Then, one day Manpreet “liked” my page.
He was different right from the start. His eyes were soft and gentle; his profile photo showed him sitting on the floor holding his dog. I was intrigued by his sweetness, so I sent him a friend request.
He and I became very close friends who spoke daily about whatever was on our mind. We discussed past relationships, even our fears and dreams. We slowly found that we started to depend on each other for so many things like advise, a good venting session and even for a deep belly laugh. We could not get enough of each other.
Our online relationship was very genuine and real to us, but the rest of the world seemed to doubt it.
On my end I would hear horror stories; people tend to mis-trust then see it necessary to guise their own fears as overt “concern” for you. “He wants a green-card,” is something everyone is thinking, weather they say it or not.
Sadly, you can see it in their eyes.
I find it bizarre that someone can meet a guy in a bar one night, sleep with him, then introduce him all their friends and no one bats-an-eye; they blindly accept it.
Nope.. I have spent years vetting this man. There are no “red flags,” yet people are “concerned.” It makes me laugh… and cry daily.
On Manpreet’s end there tends to be a completely different sense of mistrust and adaptation in India, but thankfully NOT from his family. I feel like the luckiest woman in the world to have married a man with a family I am simply obsessed with.
Theirs is a beautiful and ancient culture with beliefs, traditions and superstitions dating back thousands of years. Only recently, they are finding themselves thrown into this new global economy. His culture is trying to adapt, but the world is evolving so rapidly they seem to be stuck in this in-between state of progress and history.
Needless to say, a relationship like mine and Manpreet’s is a new phenomenon, but the world will adjust… or not. We really don’t care, we just want to be together.
I have created this category on my blog for the thousands of relationships who are going through something similar. Ours is a hard path to choose, but also one of the most beautiful.
My life has all come full circle, and I feel the need to share it with those who are still in the midst of the desperation, confusion and torment of an inter-cultural relationship. After learning a great deal about Indian culture in the last three years, I have come to realize that I will always be learning and never fully understand it… but it has certainly enhanced my world like I could never have imagined.
For more stories in the Gori and the Sikh category, click below:
For more stories in the Gori and the Sikh category, click—> HERE
Read about “My Indian Boyfriend “—>HERE
My Big Fat Sikh Wedding: Indian Astrology —> HERE
My Big Fat Sikh Wedding: The Dress —> HERE
My Big Fat Sikh Wedding: Prelude —> HERE
My Big Fat Sikh Wedding: Show Time —> HERE
Surviving Long Distance Love—> HERE
Open Letter to my Husband—> HERE
Our Honeymoon, Rishikesh India—> HERE
Fiance Visa Process—> HERE
US Embassy New Delhi Interview—> HERE
Journey to New Delhi—> HERE
First Trip to Jaipur India —> HERE
Our First Diwali—> HERE
Giving Thanks, Shukryia —> HERE
Being Sikh in America—> HERE
The Indian Grocery—> HERE
A Path to Happiness—> HERE
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