C'mon Inner Peace… I Don't Have All Damn Day
Call me weird, but I was prepared for this weeks ago. I suppose from the outside it may look like panic, but in reality I have never felt more calm. I watched Italy, and started collecting supplies, little by little.
Journalism was my major, and I absolutely love the news. It calms me, when it seems to stress others out. Slowly, we purchased an ozone generator, a nebulizer, and a colloidal silver maker. Thanks to my amazing husband we have a bidet, and reverse osmosis water filtration system. I felt none of that panic others felt. We have masks, gloves, and hand sanitizer. Not to brag, but we are fairly prepared.
It’s shocking though, watching everyone scramble to catch up.
Once they started to recommend we start “social-distancing,” cracks in my plan started to emerge. The first few days, was simply “less;” we went through the Starbucks drive-through instead of going inside. I mean, at this point we only had a few people testing positive in the entire state.
Each day, we distanced ourselves more and more, and I felt prepared to hunker down with my little family… UNTIL I realized that my husband still had to work. He works with the public, sometimes even close-contact with sick and elderly people. I wasn’t too worried about him though, he is a health conscious vegan who works out a lot.
I was not too concerned for myself, or for my son. Of course, the “what-if’s” pop into my head, those rare instances where a healthy 40-something died from this horrible affliction, or my sons previous pneumonia. Will that cause it to return? What about my sons best friend with Asthma? Will he be OK?
I was blissfully content with my first few days of self-quarantine… excited to write my blog, clean the house, plant my garden. I was truly excited to take a break from the craziness of my sons career, and be still.
But, then I realized that my home was not a safe haven at all. My husband working out there in the world will most likely bring this disease into my home. The home where my mother lives with us. She is 78.
Two years ago, the flu nearly killed her. I watched, helpless, as she became so sick that I was afraid we were going to lose her. This is not the flu. No. This would be detrimental for her… for all of us.
I sit home with all the gear, all the precautions, and we are MORE vulnerable than those happy families simply bored with no toilet paper. I’m jealous. I need to feel that safety right now. I did all the right things. I prepared. And, it wasn’t good enough.
I moved my husband into my sons room, and moved my son into my room. I have as little contact with him as possible. When he comes home from work, he throws his uniform into the washer immediately and I spray down the house once he leaves for work. I blast the ozone generator in his room, and make my mother wear a mask to simply go to the kitchen.
They are saying it is airborne for three hours… so to hell with all their “don’t wear a mask,” non-sense. This virus is most likely inside my home, if not now… then soon.
This is no way to live for the foreseeable future. I need my husband home from work… to protect my mothers life. What a crazy circumstance.
I’m watching Facebook and it’s cute seeing all these moms joke that they can’t wait for their kids to return to school in two weeks.
Two weeks. I don’t have the heart to tell them. They’ll learn soon enough.
I can see the way the government made slight, systematic, restrictions, so people could digest this in small bits at a time. Again, it’s shocking to me how many are still unaware of what’s really happening. We as a society, are going to be changed forever. They remind me of Anne Frank in the early days. Hopeful. Optimistic. Unaware.
I’m seeing people desperately reaching for something positive. “The waters in Venice are clear and have dolphins.” They post that pollution in China can’t be seen from space, so “Mother Earth is healing.”
I’m proud of the humanity of banks suspending mortgages, landlords not charging rent, and theme parks paying their employees during our “short time social- distancing.” Sadly, I can’t help but read between the lines. Our generation will never be the same.
And, maybe that’s a good thing.
Once we reemerge, American society will see the cracks in their own foundations. Our healthcare system, our greed, and total way of life needs to change. I can only hope the younger generation make this country into a less materialistic, and more humble place.
For me, my foundation.. is not safe.
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