Schrodinger’s Cat: Waiting for Medical Diagnosis

The Theory of Schrodinger’s cat, also known as Quantum superposition, “is a fundamental principle of quantum mechanics. It states that, much like waves in classical physics, any two (or more) quantum states can be added together and the result will be another valid quantum state. Mathematically, it refers to a property of solutions to the Schrödinger equation; since the Schrödinger equation is linear, any linear combination of solutions will also be a solution.” – Sorry for my use of WikiPedia

(for simple explanation)

“In simple terms, Schrödinger stated that if you place a cat and something that could kill the cat (a radioactive atom) in a box and sealed it, you would not know if the cat was dead or alive until you opened the box, so that until the box was opened, the cat was (in a sense) both “dead and alive.”

Looking back on my life, there have always been moments or “wake up calls,” which inevitably led me to make lifestyle changes when I needed them most.

I venture into the side of gluttony on occasion, but usually it doesn’t last very long. I let myself slide, gain weight, get disgusted, snap out of it and, “find myself,” once again.

A healthy lifestyle is my first choice, far more often than not.

But, my father died five years ago.

Since that time, a seemingly endless series of bad luck, hard times, or stress have reoccurred over and over in my life. I discovered a reward system of unhealthy choices I suppose.

There have also been moments of immense joy hidden within the grey. Nonetheless, everything I know should be done regarding my diet and mental health have been temporarily pushed into the depths of my past.

Recently, a mundane visit to my doctor shook my universe.

“We found three masses, but we are most concerned about a complex cyst on your left ovary.”

No words. Everything slowed down. I had tunnel vision.

I covered it up with awkward questions and ramblings, but my mind was blank.

They scheduled an appointment for me to see a specialist, but… it’s more than a month away.

Until that time, I am Schrödinger’s cat. I am both healthy and sick; both, dying and alive.

The first three days after this diagnosis I was mentally tumbling into a black abyss.

“Who would raise my son?”

“I’m not ready to leave this beautiful world.”

“I haven’t been to Thailand yet.”

“I have no health insurance!!!!”

I walked around watching people as if I were already a ghost.

Why did they get to live to be old and I may never see my fiftieth birthday?

Why can’t I live to see my grandchildren? I want to see what my son becomes in life.

Ovarian cancer is the scary one.

It’s the one we are warned about; the one that sneaks up with no notice.

I had no notice.

Luckily, my instincts kicked in after a few days of self pity, though.

Immediately, I remembered Suzanne Somers book, “Breakthrough;” cancer feeds on sugar.

I stopped all sugar.

I remember my amazing Doctor Minkoff giving me Ozone IV’s.

My husband ordered an ozone machine to ozonate my water at home.

I started taking DIM, Maca, astaxanthin, progesterone cream… anything I could, to try and stop whatever MAY be growing inside me.

The moral to this story is, that although I still have no idea if I’m preparing for the fight of my life, or simply living the worlds biggest “wake -up call,” I feel amazing.

My husband says that I’m glowing again, that my skin looks younger.

I have energy, and no anxiety.

I’m remembering everything that I KNOW I should have been doing all this time, but I let it get away.

I let complacency win.

I slipped by using BPA plastic bottles even though I knew I was estrogen dominant.

I slipped and started eating crappy foods more often.

I forgot everything I’ve learned. A clean diet is to your key to overall health, I knew that.

For awhile, I stopped caring about chemicals in foods, rationalizing that “everything in moderation,” is ok.

It’s not OK. I remember now.

I’ve been thinking about people who have stuck around, the good souls. I should let them know how much they mean to me.

And… I’ve been thinking that I kept toxic people around too long.

I am even more thankful for my family than ever before.

My life has been amazing, I must tell my son all those crazy stories. He needs to know who his mom really is at her core.

This is a wake-up call, and I am wide awake.

LIFE IS AMAZING. Do not waste it.

Your mental state in times like this determine EVERYTHING. And I refuse to go back to complacency no matter what the doctor tells me.

I may be in denial? But I think Schrodinger’s cat is alive and well.

If the cat is dead, I’m ready to fight.

Sugar, chemicals, plastics, and overly processed foods… have no place in my world.

Absolutely not.

I’m wide awake.