Buddhaful Britt

C'mon Inner Peace… I Don't Have All Damn Day

Your Boyfriend is From India?

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Falling in love with a man from India has been a roller coaster combination of many interesting conversations, arguments, passions and complexities.

I wouldn’t trade him for the world though, because he has brightened my disillusioned and tired mind.

My blog stats continuously show questions about masala couples (a mix between east and west) that I feel compelled to let you know… you are not alone.

There are many articles both for and against the Indian man, as if they are this alien subspecies to be poked and prodded by science. “Who are these men so inexperienced in the western dating world, with bright minds and a confused look on their face?”

There are articles about western women not being accepted into Indian families… “will he even marry you at all?”

I had no idea the Indian culture falsely sees western women as easy and that marrying the love of my life would be so complicated. Getting his Punjabi Sikh family to accept me used to seem insurmountable, and trying to convince some of my closed minded American friends that he is not after a green card has been entertaining… to say the least.

Getting to know the family.

Getting to know the family.

The reasons I fell in love with this man were very basic and simple; he loves me completely, and he is the most moral man I have ever known.

For a woman who has seen the worst side of men, my Indian boyfriend was a breath of fresh air.  He restored my faith in humanity by always putting our relationship first.

Indian men have been raised to think about marriage… and their priority is usually family above all else. With him, I feel as if I have stepped back in time to 1930, where thoughts regarding matrimony were less complicated and more chivalrous.

I have suddenly been submerged into this colorful and intriguing world I had never before imagined existed; I love the complex simplicity of it all.

…But, there are issues of course.

Now I have to be aware that Mercury being in retrograde could possibly put a small “rift” in my relationship for a few weeks. Things that I would never have thought of seem to pop up out of the blue… such as making a journey to a certain temple on the Ganges to clear his Karma from the woes of his grandfathers. (huh?)

…And did you know that Turmeric cures just about EVERYTHING?  Now I do… I know this well.

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It’s an experience both of us find interesting, sometimes frustrating… yet always filled with humor, devotion and respect.

Reading the message boards online, candidly shows me the shock and horror of racism on both sides. I am shocked as to what I see from westerners… “we don’t date you because you are not white,” or simply “Indian men smell.”

The comments from Indians are just as crazy; although in contrast they are extremely long and well written.

The theories they tend have about western women as just as entertaining, “they don’t like us because we are I.T. nerds,” or wrongly they think “girls in America have loose morals.” The best though, “they are afraid of the rapes and honor killings they hear about in the media.”

I don’t think it is so much the honor killing as much as the internet being filled with western girls who have actually fallen in love with an Indian man only to have their hearts ripped out. Some Indian men do tend to see western girls as “easy” and take advantage of that love… only to leave them for an arranged marriage back home in India.

The countless stories are absolutely unimaginable to a girl from the west; knowing that falling in love with an Indian guy may leave her heartbroken.

Taj Mahal 2014

Taj Mahal 2014

In India, everyone seems to accept your “one true love” may marry someone else one day; where the western woman could never understand that you did not have the balls to stand up to your family for her.

There is a major difference in how one sees their status prior to marriage.

A western girl hears “I love you” from her boyfriend and thinks long-term, but in many Indian households, love only happens after marriage; there is no guarantee until it’s official. 

Western girls NEED to understand this.

I consider myself one of the lucky ones, my Indian “boyfriend” plans on marrying me contrary to what his society thinks.

He is not awkward or nerdy; I think he is beautiful to look at, smells delicious and exudes a confidence that I adore. None of the stereotypes are true from either side. He takes me by the hand and lets me know that he will fight for me until the day he dies.

Does he stand up to his family for you? If not, PLEASE question the relationship.

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…AND much to the dismay of Indian mothers everywhere, I am not an easy girl who sleeps around, drinking at clubs till the wee hours of the morning.

Although there was a time when yes, dancing until dawn was fun… it does not mean that western girls are these “crazy sluts” Indian culture seems to think we are.

My Indian “boyfriend” doesn’t care about my past, he only sees our future together; knowing I am none of those things his society believes.

For the first time in my life, I can’t wait to get married.

I am going to marry the man who kisses my forehead and is not afraid to become my family.

I am going to marry the most kind and gentle person I have ever met; the one who consistently resolves our issues like a man ready to take on the role of a husband; not a child who plays games.

Masala relationships can be confusing, but it’s not hopeless as long as you have a man willing to stand up for you. 

It’s typical to be kept secret from the family until it’s time for marriage, but is he willing to deal with the pressure for you?

Has he shown signs his family is looking for a bride for him?

My Indian fiancé came into my world like a prince who stole my heart and resuscitated my soul; because he is a good man who followed his heart. I wish the same for you.

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We did it!!  See wedding pics in the links below:

Related links:

For more stories in the Gori and the Sikh category, click—> HERE

Read about “My Indian Boyfriend “—>HERE

My Big Fat Sikh Wedding: Indian Astrology —> HERE

My Big Fat Sikh Wedding: The Dress —> HERE

My Big Fat Sikh Wedding: Prelude —> HERE

My Big Fat Sikh Wedding: Show Time —> HERE

Surviving Long Distance Love—> HERE

Open Letter to my Husband—> HERE

Our Honeymoon, Rishikesh India—> HERE

K1 Fiance Visa Process—> HERE

Cr1 Marriage Visa Timeline 2017—> HERE

US Embassy New Delhi Interview K1—> HERE

Journey to New Delhi—> HERE 

First Trip to Jaipur India —> HERE

Our First Diwali—> HERE

Giving Thanks, Shukryia  —> HERE

Being Sikh in America—> HERE

The Indian Grocery—> HERE

A Path to Happiness—> HERE

 

 

Follow our journey at BuddhafulBritt.com     Namaste’

Manpreet and Lisa

Manpreet and Lisa

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38 comments on “Your Boyfriend is From India?

  1. Kelli J.
    October 23, 2014

    Your joy and contentment bring a smile to my face and tears to my eyes. To read this only reassures me that you will have a very happy life together…not a perfect life but one that can survive the trials that marriage brings and one that will have many more ups than downs. I can’t wait to meet this wonderful man and see your love in action! Kisses!

    Like

  2. Britt
    October 23, 2014

    Why thank you Mrs. Jenkins. I think he is just wonderful, and I appreciate your support, it means more than you know. I wish everyone was as accepting as you are.

    Like

  3. Neems
    November 22, 2014

    And what a wonderful love story that I was lucky to be a part of… part of your unfolding journey through the highs and lows…. you got a lot of love and it exudes through every pore anytime someone gets to know you. Good luck and praying through this challenging journey and I am so enjoying being a part of your life journey Lee….love you and your love and the lucky man making you do what you do… it all clicks… should I pat my back further or hold off to wonder of you like me or my Indianness… lol…. hahahahaha

    Like

    • Britt
      November 22, 2014

      It’s ALL YOU NIMA! I just adore who you are and I’m thrilled to have you in my life. Thank you!

      Like

  4. Nara
    August 29, 2015

    What a nice love story! You’re very lucky to have found a man is ready to stand up for you.
    My boyfriend is Indian but we face big problems due to his family and Khap Panchayat.
    I wish you all the best!

    Like

    • Britt
      September 21, 2015

      Thank you so much for your comment Nara! I wish you the best of luck, I understand how challenging it can be. Keep me updated!

      Like

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  22. ICHIYA
    November 5, 2016

    U R so good luck 👍 I have Indian Sikh boy friend. We fall love to now is full over 7 years So sweet love story. We had lived together almost over 6 years. I love him so so much. I love him with out conditional. No money No house I wanted. I just want him. He is my So right type of man in my life. I knew my self I can’t get this type man again in my life I m sure. I love indiands more then new modern countries. But he parent arranged Indian girl for him to go marrying in next year. He said he has fall love with her too. We can’t get married the big problem reason is he said my age is old more then him. I have kid. I had once married. This 3 things ppl will angry and lough on him and his parent. His brother said if he marry with me the parent will kill they self. He must have to respect parent choose girl. But he said I m his type he ever liked and I m more then that girl. That girl only age very young he most liked. I can’t get rid off him from my life at all. He is last real love in my life I can say that. I want he and me stay forever and I can come to Sikh and love they parent and friends. I really really really love him person only. I just want him. No sexy too I still love him. Can any one help me let we get married plz ???

    Like

    • Britt
      November 5, 2016

      I wish I could help you. All I know is that my husband family accepted me and my son. My husband told them he was going to marry me, and they agreed. It’s really your boyfriend who needs to stand up to them. Too many times I see Indian men who are scared of their family to do what their heart says. If he doesn’t stand up for you, please try to move on. He is not the one for you.

      Like

      • Ichiya
        November 5, 2016

        First thx so much replay to me. Can I know which country r u ? Also do u same as me single mother ? I came from Japan. My son was 2 years old his dad past away. Then I took he with me came Australia for learn English. After oh my god. Is big disturbing happen in my life. In here so so on indiands. I had met first Hindu Indian boy friend in same colleague. And we liked each other looks then lived together near 1 year. I spend total Aus $ 20000 for him and look after him so well. But after I with this second Sukh boy friend then I can know which of love and what type of love. I with Sukh this one have fully trust and warm and respect feeling. I share all my things with him can trust. Bcoz I got 2 times Indian boy friend that’s why now I knew about Indian very much. He is 30 and me now 40. He said marry party and card and ring every things is done. Can’t cancel it. But I really really sad to see he is gone from my life. We are same class we had so so sweet love story and was lined so much in beginning. Now after 7 years he left me and can know he can’t marry me that’s too stupid. If he knew that already can’t marry with me then why don’t he decide left me at early time ???? I also asked him. Then he said. Last 7 years of coz hard to left me and still have feeling and missing feeling by sad. Now he can stop contact with me. And every day chat so many hours with that Indian girl on video.

        Like

      • ICHIYA
        November 5, 2016

        The girl carved his name on his wrist with a knife. Two or three days to remind him once. do not forget. How much she loved him. He was proud. Tell me she loves him so deep you see. This is I read from he with her what’s app msg details. If he no marry her then she going kill self. Parent too if he marry with me then they going kill self his brother said. They all by force him must to marry with Indian girl. The parent don’t care I m So good for him. I had 2 times got his baby. I didn’t force for baby. Is he ask me want baby ? Then I ask him if u want then I will. He was said yes. But when I real got 2 times baby then he very confused and say no good. Is was 5 years ago. Bcoz him I lost my life So on important things. Why he used me for his right time then now he hind me got new girl done then push me away. I did ask him will we can married all times by single date. He said can can. Every things is not impossible. I also had say to him don’t come and finish. But he keep come and push me catch me saying can’t finish with me. The heart still have So on left. But now he hind me for one year chat with that Indian girl done the sure things then tell me have to finish with me. We are 100% trust. Warm. Know each other like deep family. I knew he is my right man become my life. I can’t get other man I liked much can over him. I can learn Sukh and become Sikh. I can do hard work and care for his family. I told him. But he still want that young girl. We are very lovely love story I want keep forever. He said if can have 2 wife …..but he can. Doesn’t means she happy and I happy.

        Like

  23. A
    March 11, 2017

    I absolutely love this article!! because it is so true….I’ve recently met an Indian man who has meant the world to me, the best person I have ever met and the best I have ever been treated by any man. Much like you Lisa…he has reinvented my soul, blows my mind intellectually is a true man and so gentle and loving. He is a true man with true morals and puts family above all else, in terms of problems he does tell me he wants to settle in India and so future wise not sure where the relationship will go, but it definitely hasn’t taken the next step yet but I know that I would marry this man in a heartbeat and if he decided I was the woman for him FOREVER he would have no hesitation in telling his family and fighting for it…fingers crossed I could just be his Western fling, but how he has changed my life he will never know 🙂

    Like

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  25. Deidre
    May 15, 2017

    I am so happy to read stories like this. I hope one day I will have a similar story for myself. My borfriends parents are really pushing and arranged marriage and they do not know about me. I am hoping one day to know his family as he does mine.

    Like

    • Britt
      May 15, 2017

      If he doesn’t tell them about you, then please protect yourself. Leave. No matter how much it hurts, leave him if he won’t tell his parents. Trust me, I’ve seen too many girls have their hearts ripped out from this situation. If you would like to contact me, we have a group of women with similar stories. BuddhafulBritt@gmail.com

      Like

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  27. Rebeccs
    June 1, 2017

    Thank you for writing this. Recently a very sweet and very attractive guy from India requested as a friend in facebook. We have been talking for hours. He actually sleeps during the day just to talk to me because of the time difference. I am very confused on how he found me and why he wants to talk to me so much. I’ve stayed connected with him because he is so sweet and attractive

    Like

    • Britt
      June 2, 2017

      You haven’t had any friends in common? He reached out to you? Be careful about that… maybe we could chat some more about him. I belong to a group.

      Like

      • Rebeccs
        June 2, 2017

        Yes, He was a complete stranger.. he still wants to talk all the time. He seems sweet but my guard is up. Where can I keep in touch with you, if I needed some advice? Thank you so much for replying!

        Like

      • Lb
        June 2, 2017

        BuddhafulBritt@gmail.com
        Let’s chat

        Like

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